What I'm Dealing With

I have two children.  They tell me they are not idiots.  My children expect me to just take them at their word.

"Son," I say to the 13 year old.  "This afternoon you are on your own for a couple hours.  While I am gone, I expect you to pick out just ONE of the four tests you have next week to study for.  Since today's Saturday, pick out the subject that you have the test on first."

"OK, mom.  I think I have Business first, on Monday."

"Fine.  Study for that one."

"OK."

So, I leave.  I have done my part.  I have issued the commands.  I have only to go away, do my thing & return to find that what I have asked for has been accomplished.  If you know my kids, you might even be agreeing with me!  'Helen's boys are so wonderful!'  So, off I go - all the world is as it should be.

Two hours later...

"Hi there, son.  Hows your studying going?"  In my purse I have even brought him a little treat, remembering how I always hated studying, myself.

"Well," he says, "I had a problem.  Some people said the Business test is on Monday, but some people said the test is on Friday."

"So - who cares what "some people" say.  Doesn't really matter.  What did the teacher say? (as an aside, please tell me why THE TEACHER is just about the last person any kid will ask when it comes to what homework or tests have been assigned in a particular class.) 

"I don't know."  Of course not.  Not only does HE not know, but the helpless legions of eighth-graders on facebook do not know either.

"OK, fine.  So, obviously you then decided to assume that the test is on Monday, as that is the earliest possibility, & you have been assiduously studying away.  Right?"

Silence.  Not the golden kind.  To counter the ominous silence I must raise my voice.  "You have been studying these past two hours, right?  You most certainly have not just been sitting here staring at the wall for two solid hours, stymied by the fact that you don't know which day ONE of your tests will be?  You couldn't possibly have studied anything at all because of that?  Not one thing?  What HAVE you been doing?"

Small voice, aimed at feet.  "I've been reading."

"Let me guess, not the 10th book of the Ranger's Apprentice Series?  Where all current business problems & solutions can be found, I'm sure!  Why not read something even MORE helpful - like your Business book!"

Argh!  Needless to say, the treat is still in my purse.

THIS is what I'm dealing with, each & every day.