Book Club

When we moved to Jamaica, a fellow expat wife (expat: short for 'expatriate' - persons working or living outside their own country) invited me to join her book club. Little did I know that in a few months time she would move away & dump the club in my lap...

Year 2 of my reign:  we have lost our way. The ladies of the club continue to assure me that I am just perfect as 'Ms. President' or 'Madame Chairman'. But I don't know. See what you think:

We sit comfortably at a long table on the patio at the home of Monica. I sit at the head. Or the foot. Depending. Imagine this table full of women, partially obscured by platters of food & cups of coffee & juices.  They are chewing & talking, as ladies do:

Fernanda:  Oh, Monica, this food is fabulous!
Pam:  I agree!  Grace, will you pass one of those quiche?
Grace:  Sure, just let me move this fruit plate. Here you are.
Susan:  What kind of quesadilla's are these, do you know, Caroline?
Caroline:  I sure do - Grace & I spent over AN HOUR shredding the chicken!

I try to be heard above the din - "Ladies! Ladies!" I bang a fork gently on my plate. "It's time to talk about this months book. What did we think about it?" 

Lineke:  No! It took a whole HOUR to shred that chicken?
Grace:  You bet, Lineke, we couldn't believe it.
Monica:  Here Jackie, try one - you, too, Fernanda.

"Our book? Year of Wonders: A Novel of the Plague? Who read it? DID anyone read it?" A few hands shoot up. "Well, could one of you give us a brief summary?"

Richa:  This chicken does look quite well done.  But I'm a vegetarian.
Toni:  Really, these chicken quesadilla's are excellent.  Especially with the guacamole!
Helen:  Well, actually, Caroline & Grace are known thru-out the island for their chicken shredding skills. It's partly why I joined this club. But the book??
Pam:  I, too, am a vegetarian.
Fernanda:  Well, I thought it just sucked.

Pam:  Being vegetarian?
Jackie:  The chicken?
Fernanda:  No, the book.
Helen:  The book sucked?
Fernanda:  No, I meant that it sucked to live back then. I mean, there was the plague & all. & they were hungry, too, weren't they?  Richa, would you pass me that bread?
Richa:  Yes. What sort of bread is that?
Lineke:  Callaloo.
Monica:  No, that's not callaloo, that's zucchini. (as an aside, I notice that both of these vegetables will require spell check, so it doesn't really matter to me which it is).
((It was good bread, tho, whichever.))
Richa:  What is this sauce for?

"OK, they had a plague & they were hungry & that sucked.  Anything else?"

Monica:  It was great at the end when she gets away with the baby & goes to India. It's for the fruit.
Susan:  She goes to India for the fruit?
Helen:  I think it was Morocco.
Fernanda:  No, she goes to save the baby. 
Helen:  The sauce is for the fruit!
Susan:  What baby?
Grace:  These muffins are so moist. Poppy-seed?
Jackie:  Ah, aren't poppy-seeds in some kind of drug?
Helen:  & what about that preacher the girl was so fond of - He turned out to be kind of creepy!
Pam:  Heroin.
Lineke:  The preacher was on heroin?
Fernanda:  No, the heroin is from the poppy-seeds.
Monica:  I think it is opium.
Lineke:  I don't think the preacher was taking any drugs.
Jackie:  Well, you know I am pregnant - maybe I shouldn't eat them.

"Back to the book? Anyone?"

Jackie:  I sure could use some more of that fruit tea, Monica. How do you make it?
Susan:  Could someone pass the non-dairy creamer?
Grace to Toni:  I love book club! Are you enjoying your first meeting?
Caroline:  My hands are still so tired from the chicken! An HOUR, you know!
Helen:  Maybe we should be a cooking club, or a food club, or something like that. I don't think we should really be a book club.

Nine pairs of eyes turn to me, astonished.  "Not a book club?", they gasp.  "But you can see we all LOVE talking about the books! There's no reason to change anything! What are we reading next month, Ms President?"