Laying down the Law...

Decree

On this day, the 18^th day of August in 

the year of our Lord 2012,

Let it be known throughout the Land that Helen, 

the solemnly sworn Mother of this Family, 

will no longer be held Responsible for various 

Items of Little or No Import

 handed to her by other Family Members for 

safe keeping just because She is the 

Owner of a Purse.

Let it also be known that a Mother’s Purse 

is truly Not a Reliable Place 

for Anyone to keep Anything, 

as can be Witnessed by the many times the 

Car Keys cannot be found.

If Anyone, as a Member of this Family, 

has Items that they ever wish to 

See Again in their Lifetimes, 

these Items Must Not, under 

Any circumstances, 

be entrusted to the Mother, 

the above mentioned Helen, 

who is closing in on the half century mark 

& whose mental faculties are clearly waning.  

Heretofore, 

Helen No Longer considers herself capable of 

performing the extensive Duties required 

as the Owner of the Family's Junk Repository, 

& advises each Member of the Family to take 

Full Responsibility 

for their own Possessions 

forthwith.