I don't like to eavesdrop on other people's conversations, but yesterday morning, while sitting in the scuba boat waiting to go, I couldn't help but notice the man on the beach who was trying to sell his penis to two women with British accents getting on a jet ski.
The man held his penis up to them & said, "This is for you."
The ladies squealed & shrieked & indicated that they were not interested.
"It's just the right size for you!" the man insisted. I thought that was a wee bit personal. That the penis was for sale was not particularly offensive to me - I had seen many just like it. But the guy was a bit too forward for my taste...
Oh, stop gasping! It was made out of wood, for Heaven's sake! You thought it was a real one, admit it...
Meanwhile, on the dive boat, we were sitting with a Canadian & his 13 year old son, who was blushing mightily at this exchange. I imagine one does not usually have the opportunity to buy a penis in Canada, at least, right out in public. Those northern folk just don't know what they are missing.
"It's a nice one!" the man turned it this way & that, brandishing it high above his head (like some sort of lewd Statue of Liberty torch) so that all within earshot on the beach could admire it fully. Well, he didn't have any argument there - it did seem to be nicely done. But still, what would you do with the thing, really - put it up on your shelf at home, "Look, Grandma, what I brought back from Jamaica!"? I could imagine going thru Customs with it, "Oh, that's nothing, Officer, just my penis...please be careful with it!"
As I mentioned, there are lots of these penises around - lines of them, standing proudly in rows in the souvenir shops. I guess they must sell, after all. Who'd've thought?
Real penises are available for viewing as well. Men in Jamaica think nothing about peeing along the sidewalk of a busy street. & I don't mean peeing like you or I would (if we HAD too!) - parked up near a bush on a side street or hiding between two car doors - no, not at all. These guys just whip it out wherever & whenever the need strikes - & if you are lucky, they might turn away from you before they begin their business. I don't attribute that to any particular sense of decency, tho - it probably has more to do with wind direction...
It follows then, that if the men are not shy about showing their REAL penises, well, what's to be embarrassed about by selling wooden ones?
Right?
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