A couple months ago I overheard my oldest son talking to a friend on the xBox about his IQ. He told his friend that he had taken an IQ test online & he proceeded to spout out his result. Then he informed his friend (& his eavesdropping mother) that this IQ number indicated that he was 'Above Average'.
News to me.
I thought, 'Above Average' - is that all? Like any mother, I assume my children belong in the 'Simply Amazing' category.
I don't think my children have ever taken an IQ test at school. I seem to remember my mother telling me that, yes, my sister & I had taken IQ tests in school, but they (our parents) had decided not to reveal the results to us, so this potent knowledge would not skew the way we thought about ourselves. It seemed to be a thing to keep secret, like your finances. My parents never did tell me.
Now here was my son telling EVERYBODY within earshot about his score! How did he even know this score was 'right'? There must be hundreds of IQ tests out there on the web to choose from! As I was sitting in front of my computer at the time, I quickly googled 'Online IQ Test' & was rewarded with a mere 27.3 million results (in just .2 seconds, by the way).
~~~~really, Google, now you are just showing off! Why bother? Does anyone actually go beyond, say, the 20th listing?~~~~
Being a lazy sort of person, I went with the 10th one on the list. (I liked that website's name best - it started with 'FREE'.) The website welcomed me in & wanted me to TEST NOW! I looked around slyly to make sure that my children weren't watching - it seemed so forbidden an activity. OK, I thought, & then I clicked. After telling me I had to indicate my age, so the test results could be 'age-adjusted', the test began.
The questions were all the same format. A box would be shown to me, divided into six sections, five of which had some sort of pattern, the sixth section being empty. Underneath the picture of the box there were up to eight possible choices of patterns. I had to pick the pattern that would complete the six-sectioned box correctly.
I could see that there would be 60 questions. At first they were beyond simple. As I progressed, they became more difficult. When I reached about 32 or so, my son crossed to the kitchen for a snack. "Oh," he said, after stopping to look over my shoulder, "You are taking the IQ Test?"
~~~~See what I mean? OBVIOUSLY 'Simply Amazing'! Can there be any doubt?~~~~
"Yes," I said defensively, "DON'T help me!"
"I won't!" He watched me answer one & then went on his way.
I continued. I reached about 53 or so when they became really tricky. I slogged my way thru & then clicked SEE MY RESULT.
There was my number. It was higher than the number I had heard my son tell his friend. I was not ABOVE AVERAGE. In fact, I was not even SIMPLY AMAZING. No. I looked at the category assigned to me. It did not seem to make sense, but sure enough, when I blinked & looked again, there was my score - 2 points into the GENIUS category.
Well then!
Genius or no, the first thing I did with this new found knowledge was rub my son's face in it:
"HA!," I exclaimed, "I toasted YOU, big time!"
"No!", my son jumped off the couch to see.
"Read it & weep!" I hooted.
My son was horribly affected. I could tell by the way he slunk off to the xBox & promptly forgot all about it. I sat there, basking in my greatness. A genius! Who knew?
How would this information affect my life, I wondered? Does a floor mopped by a GENIUS sparkle brighter than a floor mopped by the normal woman I was just yesterday? Would my children be better served by having a chauffeur who could make sense out of a bunch of patterns? Should I perhaps apply for a job in the textile industry - making rugs of intricate patterns that ONLY I could distinguish?
The possibilities are limitless, I can tell!
Of course, they always were...
:)
No comments:
Post a Comment