Just Nod if You Can Hear Me

"Wow, Helen, you look good - have you lost weight?"
"I have! Almost 20 pounds."
"That is SO great! Are you on a special diet?
"No - I'm just counting my calories - trying to keep my intake less than my calories burned, you know..."
"I wish I'd have known when I invited you to lunch..."
"Why's that, Sarah? Then you wouldn't have invited me?"
"NO! It's just I don't know what kind of foods you eat!"
"I eat anything. Besides, you normally eat pretty healthy anyway so I'm sure whatever you made will be fine."
"We're having vegetarian pizza & some cabbage salad."
"Great, sounds perfect."
"John, look, Helen's here - doesn't she look good? She's on a DIET."
"It's okay, Sarah, you don't have to whisper!"
"A diet? I wish we would have known..."
"It's okay, guys, really, it's nothing for you to worry about. I can eat anything I want."
"But, that can't be a very effective diet!"
"It's NOT a DIET, it's more of a lifestyle change, you know, just trying to stop that kind of mindless eating that I tend to do when I'm not paying attention.
"Well, the pizza crust IS whole wheat - can you have that?"
"Yes, John, that's fine."
"Good - we just don't want to give you anything you can't have."
"I can have ANYTHING - I just have to count the calories, is all. Ummm, this cabbage salad is great! What kind of dressing is on it?"
"OH, John, we forgot about the dressing! Helen, are you sure you can have that?"
"Of course!"
"Well, how can this be a diet, then, if you can have anything?"
"I just add up all the calories & when I hit the daily limit I set for my self, I just stop eating. There's a website I use to look up & track all this stuff - it's pretty cool."
"Sarah, will you get the wine? Oh, Helen, do you mind if we drink wine in front of you?"
"You bet I do, John! You better be pouring me a glass as well!"
"But can you have that?"
"YES!"
"But, I thought you aren't supposed to drink wine when you are on a diet?"
"I'm NOT on a DIET!"
"Well, you must be exercising then."
"Yeah, I have been doing 5K's on the treadmill - slowly working up so that now I can actually run more of the time than I walk!"
"Well, that's great. Tho I don't see how you can be excited to run on a treadmill."
"Believe me, John, I am not excited to run ANYWHERE - I was never a runner; I was a swimmer. At least with a treadmill I know what to expect. Plus, it's air conditioned at the gym!"
"True, but pretty boring."
"It's not like I run long enough to get bored."
"Well, it's good you are exercising. Otherwise I don't see how you can possibly be losing any weight with this crazy diet you are on."
"What's crazy about it? It's not like it's one of those fad diets, where you lose 10 pounds one week & gain it back the next!  It's just paying attention to what I eat, & the portion sizes - you know, just making good choices overall."
"Look, Helen, Sarah made cookies. & we also brought back some sinfully good dark chocolate from the States. But we didn't know you would be on a diet.  I guess you can't have any of that, tho?"
"Why not? You think maybe I can't count that high?"
"What does counting have to do with anything?"