You SHOULDN'T have to teach...

You shouldn't have to teach your teenage boy how to use a towel.  Right?

Somewhere, in the secret manual that is issued to 13 year old boys, this must be the entry under "Using the Bath Towel":

1)  Finish shower.
2)  Open the shower door, leaving door open widely so that water dripping off the door can accumulate into a large puddle.  Do not allow water to drip conveniently onto the bath mat that your mother foolishly placed there in anticipation of just such an occurrence, but instead allow water to spread freely across tile floor. Step over water balloons, army men & assorted shampoo bottles to exit shower.
3)  Realize that, once again, you have not remembered to put the towel within reach.
4)  Realize that, worse, you have left the towel on the floor of your bedroom in a wadded-up heap.
5)  Cross the bathroom & bedroom naked & dripping.  Look every which way, hunched over & clutching your privates, in case a hoard of onlookers have somehow broken into your bedroom.  Do not consider drying your feet on any of the dirty clothes that you pass by that have yet to find their way into your hamper.  Just go ahead & track that water into your bedroom.   
6)  Locate the towel (this may take some time).
7)  Pick up towel, hug it to your body, patting your face, your chest & the inside of your arms.
8)  Throw towel back on floor.
9)  Get dressed.  Note the interesting way the shirt sticks to your body.  Wonder why it is so hard to pull underwear up over legs that are still soaking wet.  Put on your pants & socks, then proceed to walk thru all the puddles on the floor in order to get your socks as wet as the rest of your clothing.
10)  Go back to bathroom.  Stand in the puddle.  Try to look in the foggy mirror.  Look for towel to pat down the drips that are running out of your hair, into your eyes, & down the sides of your face & neck. 
11)  Decide to forget about the drips, as towel is somehow not in your bathroom.  Just wipe the rivulets of water off with your hands & rub onto the sides of your pants.
12)  Go downstairs.  Realize that drips are still coming off of your hair because it is not dry.  Obviously you do not have a very good quality towel.  Think about letting your mother know, then change mind because if you mention your towel she will ask you if you hung it up & you are hoping she will forget to ask this time. 
13)  Wonder why your hair dries in a point in the middle of your forehead every day.