How American I Am

It was only after I moved away from the States that I began to see what a sheltered life we in the US live.

I never cared much for watching or reading the news while I was growing up.  When I became an adult, the news still held no attraction for me.  Happy to wallow in my ignorance of current affairs, I figured that if anything really noteworthy happened, someone would tell me.  Sure enough, that worked. I was told when the Challenger blew up.  I heard about news that might touch my own life, like the Tylenol scare & Toxic Shock Syndrome. Like AIDS.

But news from around the world?  I couldn't tell you anything.  When you are living in the States, almost all of the news is ABOUT the States.  News from other countries consisted of natural disasters, government coups & financial crisis's.  The Middle East? Just one big mess, as far as I could see. Who could possibly keep that straight?

As for what other countries thought of us - well, I knew lots of them thought that the US should mind its own business in world affairs.  Heck, I often thought that myself!  I was under the impression that many countries did not like us & I couldn't understand why the US had to act like we were "the boss of the world".  Why didn't we just leave everyone alone & take care of ourselves?  It didn't seem to do much for our image.


Then I left the country.


One of the first things I learned from some SOUTH Americans was that we in the US are not the ONLY Americans! Sure enough, those South Americans are Americans too.  & the Canadians!  & the Mexicans!  So I learned to say I was from the US, instead of calling myself an American.


When you spend some time OUTSIDE the US, you come to view things differently.  Or, at least, you come to understand some things.  One of them is that the US is BIG.  Not just geographically, but in its overall presence in the world.  It is magnetic.  Many people from other countries are trying to get visa's to live in the US, to go to school in the US, to work in the US, even just to to transit the US.  These people often can't understand why we, who have the right to live in the US, do not.  

Not only is the country BIG & MAGNETIC, it is also ONE BIG WALMART!  Seriously!  When anyone knows someone coming from or going to the States, out come the lists.  What can I ask someone to bring me that is not too inconvenient for them to carry?  Sure you can get most stuff here in the Caribbean - for twice the price of what it costs in the US! Not to mention an almost 20% tax rate on top of that... 

Then there are the tourists - the REAL US ambassadors to the world.  These are the people that a local population has to use as an example of what life in the US might be like.  They are easy to spot, my countrymen.  Wandering about aimlessly, men with their shirts off & their sunburned & tattooed shoulders peeling for all to see, with a beer in their hand; like they are on the beach instead of walking down a city street. Women with big white legs that suck their ill-fitting shorts up in the middle, holding tightly to their children's hands & their floppy hats.  The tourists look nervous, sometimes, milling about in confused groups. They smile with goofy smiles & are friendly beyond reason. They try not to be rude as they attempt to shake off the locals who are going to "help" them across the street. & they are so WHITE! So obviously out-of-place.  Yet strutting about as if they own the whole world, a local person on the street might think.  A frivolous people from a frivolous nation, with no idea that most of the locals they encounter as they shop for useless trinkets do not even have running water in their homes.  No wonder the world thinks that we from the US have more money than we know what to do with...


During the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti, I started to get yet another view of the US.  First, of course, we got to see CNN at the scene, sending out to the world pictures of the devastation.  But soon after that came the worldwide rumbles, which seemed to amount to "when is the US going to step in there & help those people?".  Did I miss something?  Since when is Haiti a US possession?

But, now, now when people NEED something, the US is expected to come thru.  This is the same country that is too much of a "bully" around the world, slinging its weight around like some sort of "cowboy".  NOW, people want us, the US, to step in & take care of things.  Now, no one is saying the US should mind it's own business.  Because that's the way the US is - it IS like a cowboy!  A cowboy that's going to ride in & "clean up this town"!  Whether the world admits it or not, that is the role other countries have assigned the US.  And once you beseech the cowboy to rescue you, you cannot expect him to mind his own business.  You can't have it both ways.

And I find that I am proud, at those moments, to be from the US, to BE an American.  To be from a country that is BIG & MAGNETIC, & yes, even frivolous.  To be from a country that the world knows will gallop in from the west on a white & dusty horse; to step up.  For whatever reason.


Sometimes when I am driving in my car & I see the planes taking off & making their immediate turn north to head for the States, my heart goes with them.  Home, I think to myself, I want to go home.  To MY country, where I ultimately belong.  With my goofy smile & my friendliness beyond reason.  With my countrymen, where I fit in, even tho I have no tattoos & my shorts fit better.


I miss my country. I never really realized how American I was until I moved away.   One day, I will come home.  But not yet.

Not yet.