Nothing Worse

I learn a lot of interesting things on TV.  No, I do not mean forensic procedure, I am talking about normal everyday life.  Where does this knowledge come from?  The news, you may ask?  Never. Commercials - that's where I learn the things that really matter.


Today I saw a commercial from the States for Stamps Online.  Yes, if you did not know it, you can buy US stamps online & print them from your very own printer!  Maybe you already know that - I am often behind the times.  But that's not what I learned that was interesting.


In the advertisement, REAL customers extol the virtues of being able to print their own stamps.  They say things like how it's so convenient, so practical, etc, etc.  But my favorite one is a man who declares, & I quote:  "There is nothing worse than having to go to the Post Office & stand in line."


Nothing Worse!  Nothing?


Is he kidding?  Nothing at all:  war, famine, global warming, wisdom teeth extractions, car accidents, cancer, oil spills, lost internet connections - no, no, no.  It all PALES in comparison to the thought of having to go to the Post Office.


"Hello?"
"Claire, Hi.  Listen, did you hear about Wendy?"
"No!  What happened, Liz?  Is she all right?"
"We don't know yet - but it doesn't look good."
"Oh my God - what is it!?  She's not - "
"Yes, that is exactly it.  Her boss sent her to the Post Office!"
"Oh, Liz!  You aren't serious!  Didn't anyone try to stop her?"
"Well, Randy said he did, but I don't think he tried very hard...Anyway, he said that Wendy was afraid she would lose her job if she didn't do it."
"Poor Wendy!  So brave!...When will we have any news?"
"She's been in there for about 2 hours now, Claire, so she is not out of the woods yet."
"Oh!  Liz!  Has...has anyone notified her family?"
"Not yet.  I think everyone is just waiting to see how it turns out.  I mean, who knows, she may just be getting up to the counter right now, getting her stamps & leaving, you know?"
"That's just like you, Liz, looking on the bright side.  But tell me really, what are the odds of that being the outcome today, do you think?"
"I'm not sure.  Randy did say he saw a person come out of there yesterday.  An old woman..."
"Sure, that's what they want us to think!  She was probably a YOUNG woman when she went in there!  Anyhow, I think Randy is full of it - he's just trying to act like it's NO BIG DEAL that poor Wendy is in the Post Office, for God's sake!"
"You're probably right, Claire.  I just keep remembering the last time I talked to Wendy.  We had an argument."  Sniff, sniff,  "If I could just have that moment back again I'd-"
"Liz, you just stop it.  None of this is your fault - Wendy knows we love her.  Look - there - now you have ME crying!"  Sniff, sniff.
"Okay, Claire.  I'm sorry I broke down - you're right;  now is the time for us to be strong.  Hey - I've gotta go - keep my phone line open, in case...  I'll let you know the moment we hear-"
"The moment you hear anything!  Promise me!  I am going to keep Wendy in my prayers."
"Good idea, Claire.  I will too!  Wendy will need all our prayers.  After all, we all know that there is nothing worse than having to go to the Post Office..."