Reallocation Matters

Mr. Jones, Head of Creative Affairs, looked up from his reclined feet-on-the-desk position, to see a somewhat fussy little man in a gray suit standing in the doorway to his office.  Not only was the man wearing a gray suit, but he was quite monochromatic in that his silk tie was gray, his shoes were gray, his hair was gray, his eyes were gray & even the pen in his hand was gray.


Mr. Jones said about the only thing he could say, "Mr. Gray, I presume?  What brings you down to the bowels of the Creative Affairs Department?"


"I have an order from the Coordinator."  Mr. Gray was not one for small talk.  "The Coordinator requests an explanation for the fall-off of output from YOUR department, Mr. Jones.  He also demands a reversal of this trend."


"Oh, he does, does he?"  Mr. Jones slid his feet off of his desk with a thump.  "& just how does the Almighty Coordinator expect me to do anything about that?"  Mr. Jones gestured to the vast empty room behind him.  "Do you see any of my staff?  NO!  Why?  I'll tell you why.  The Coordinator has seen fit to "reallocate resources" from this department to other areas of the Unit.  & what am I left with?"  Mr. Jones pointed accusingly at - oh yes, way in the back of the room could be seen one man, pounding away at his computer, "That useless character, Len!  Len wouldn't know a creative idea unless it fell onto his computer & interrupted his Bejeweled Blitz game - which, by the way, is about ALL that Len does here!"


"Not true!" shouted Len, "I also handle Solitaire Blitz & Zuma Blitz!"


Mr. Jones turned back to Mr. Gray, "You see?"


"No matter," said Mr. Gray.  "I am ordered to have you commence reading thru past idea files, or whatever it takes, to get some output.  The Coordinator says the Unit has not updated her blog in four days.  The Coordinator finds this unacceptable."


"Well, perhaps the Coordinator can explain to me why he has taken my staff!  First he took Pat, the pottery designer, & shipped her off to the Health Department, of all places, where she supervises exercise on the treadmill!  Then, he took Slim, my Blue-Sky Idea Man, & sent him off to the Health Department also, where he counts calories, for Heaven's sake.  I mean, a talent like Slim - wasted COUNTING CALORIES?!  It's a dog-gone shame, that's what it is.  & Deb? My keeper of Family Foibles?  He allocated her to, you guessed it - the Health Department - where she spends her time planning menus!  She spends her days wondering about Bulgar wheat & Greek Yogurt & what-not!  & that is surely a joke, because as we all know, the Unit does not even cook!"


"The Coordinator," huffed Mr. Gray, "has to look at the big picture!  It is not for him to justify himself to the likes of you, a mere department head!  But," Mr. Gray relented, "I do see how this situation might be confusing to you, so I will give you a brief summary.  The Unit has decided to reduce her caloric intake, as well as add some cardio workouts to her routine, with an expected outcome of weight loss & better health in general. After all, the Unit is nearing the Half-Century mark. Seeing as how this is quite a departure for a mostly sedentary Unit, you can acknowledge the necessity of some reallocation of personnel.  As I have some, say, 17 minutes before my appointment with the small but newly invigorated Obsession with the Scale Department, I will lend a hand."


Mr. Gray strode purposefully off to the filing shelves.  On his way he pulled the plug on Len's computer, which elicited a wail from Len, "NO!  I just bought a Phoenix Prism!  Do you know how expensive those are?"


"Shut up, Len," said Mr. Jones, trailing along in Mr. Gray's wake.  "Give Bejeweled Blitz a rest, why don't you?"


"Len," Mr. Gray demanded, "Explain the filing system to us."


"Alright," Len grumbled, pulling folders from the shelves.  "Here we have Stories about Driving, Stories about Living in the Caribbean, Stories about her Husband, Stories about her Kids, Stor-"


"Wait!" Mr. Gray commanded.  "That sounds good.  Stories about Husband & Kids - what do you have in that folder?"


"Nothing!" Len waved the empty folder around.  "The Husband & Kids have done nothing to inspire any stories lately - except that the Husband continues to put wet clothes on top of dry clothes, the Youngest Son continues to hide HIS wet clothing in odd locations of his bedroom & the Oldest Son STILL cannot find anything in the house at all - it is almost as if he does not even LIVE there - but these are all things the Unit has blogged about already.  We can't use them again!  At least, not so soon..."


"He's right, Mr. Gray," agreed Mr. Jones, "We have a strict policy not to duplicate any previous blogs within a six month period."  


"Fair enough - & rightly so."  Mr. Gray nodded.  He indicated a fat file folder on a shelf by itself. "What about that folder?  It looks like it has a lot of material?"


"Oh, no!" Len shook his head, "Those are not suitable for the blog."


"Are you sure?" asked Mr. Jones.  "Bring the file out so that we might have a look at it."


"Okay, but I'm warning you, it's really a waste of time."  Len shuffled over & grabbed the file.  "Look here.  Here we have Stories about How Things Would Be if This Unit Ran the World, Stories about Annoying Things that the Unit's Friends Do but Cannot Be Told Since They Might Read this Blog, Stories with a Maturity Rating of "R" bordering on "X" Which Are Not Suitable for ALL Audiences..."  Len sighed, "Unfortunately we cannot just dispose of such material.  So, we file it & hope the Unit leaves it alone..."


"No matter," said Mr. Gray (get it?).  "I will speak to the Coordinator.  I imagine some sort of joint cooperation between the new Health Department & your department can be arranged - perhaps a staff-sharing situation?  Maybe your old staff members have found new & exiting ideas in their new departments that may warrant a tale or two, that could be put to good use HERE, in your department..."


"Maybe," Mr. Jones said dubiously, "Tho when I last talked to Slim, he hadn't found much to inspire him in counting calories, for Heaven's sake! But, I do thank you, Mr. Gray, for apprising the Coordinator of the difficulty we are experiencing down here in Creative Affairs.  We can do without Pat for now, as the Unit is on a break from Pottery, but if only some arrangement can be made to at least get Slim & Deb back..."


"I will discuss our visit with the Coordinator," Mr. Gray turned to go.  Then, with a last look back at Len, who was back at his computer shouting "I made three Hypercubes in one game - a personal best!"


Mr. Gray said to Mr. Jones, with a nod toward Len, "I think we may have a replacement candidate for the Calorie Counting position close at hand.  Why don't you go ahead & ready Slim's desk for him?"