Driving for Dummies

We moved to this island almost three years ago.  My husband arrived several months before us.  He started trying to prepare me for one of the biggest differences between our new island & our old one:  driving.  While both islands, having been British, drive on the left, the style of driving is completely different.  "Get ready", my husband said, "It's pretty scary."

How bad could it be?

Now that I have been driving here for a couple years, I do have some things to say.  First & foremost, I would have complained about the fact that I had to take both a written & driving test to get my license here.  Obviously, providing a drivers license from a little known country like the United States could not be accepted as 'driving experience'.  Okay, fine.  But, like I said, I am NOT going to complain about that.  In fact, I am not even going to mention how many times I had to back up thru 100 feet of cones...oh, right, sorry.

What I do have an issue with, tho, is the written test material.  The written test was somewhat like the exam I took in the States:  multiple choice questions simple enough that had you even been in the proximity of the Drivers Manual, you would have been able to pass.  But it seems to me that there is no point in that kind of exam if it doesn't resemble in any way actual traffic conditions.  I have thought of some questions that I think I should submit to the licensing authority for future inclusion on the Drivers Exam.

1.  If you are driving along a road going 80 km/h (about 50mph) & a taxi in front of you suddenly slams on his brakes to pick up a fare, what should you do?

a)  Trick question.  What driver in his right mind would slam on his brakes in the middle of traffic moving this quickly?
b)  Swerve wildly into the next lane without bothering to look.
c)  Honk your horn.
d)  Make big swooping gestures of disgust while hollering out your window.
e)  All of the above except a.

2.  If you witness an accident, what should you do?

a)  If you are first on the scene, stop to assist & notify emergency services.  Otherwise, continue on as the police give you the "move along" signal.
b)  Park your car anywhere, get out, form a thick circle around the accident vehicles & search the crowd for people you may have not seen in a while so you can do some catching up.  If the police or ambulance show up, if it is not too much trouble, make way for them.
c)  Honk your horn.
d)  Both b & c.

3.  If you are driving along & are stopped by signs of civil unrest up ahead, like debris burning in the road, you should...

a)  Politely wait in your car for the authorities.
b)  Lock your doors, jump the median & make a new lane in the double lane of oncoming traffic.
c)  Honk your horn.
d) Both b & c.

4.  If the traffic light you are stopped at turns green, you should...

a)  Go.
b)  Wait for those unusual vehicles that will stop at their red light, then proceed with caution, as they may change their mind.  Resist the urge to wave "thank you" at them.
c)  Honk your horn.
d)  Both b & c.

5.  A turn lane on the side of the road should be used for:

a)  Turning. 
b)  A parking lot.
c)  Another thru lane - why waste it?  Tho this does conflict with the people choosing b.
d)  Honking your horn.
e)  All of the above.

6.  If you are approaching a red traffic signal at a T-junction, you should:

a)  Come to a complete stop.
b)  Check your rear view mirrors, then come to a complete stop.
c)   Slow down, coast into the intersection along the top of the T, pretend you are picking up someone there, whether you are or not; then, since you are now parked directly under the signal, go ahead & go thru it as tho you hadn't really noticed that it was there.
d)  Honk your horn.
e)   All of the above except a.

7.  Which side of the road should you drive on?

a)  The left.
b)  The right.
c)  Either, as long as you honk your horn.
d)  Whichever side has the least potholes.
e)  All of the above.

8.  If stopped by the police, you should:

a)  Pull over, remain quietly in the vehicle, & provide all documents requested by the officer in a respectful manner.
b)  Jump out of your vehicle, stand exclaiming your disbelief & denials while waving your arms around next to the officer.
c)  Honk your horn.

9.  If you pass by a police officer who has pulled over someone else, you should:

a)  Move along.
b)  Yell out your window at the policeman while making shooting gestures at him with your hand, then floor the gas while laughing derisively.
c)  Honk your horn.
d)  Both a & b.

10:   If your horn is broken -- pull over right away!   You will never survive!