Assault & Battery

Sunday at the restaurant:

"And what will you have, sir?"
"Can I get the burger, with no cheese & no mayonnaise?  & nothing on it at all?"
"No cheese, you said?" the waiter scribbles on his pad.
"No, no cheese.  & no mayonnaise!"
"My son's a boring guy," I chime in, "Just the meat & the bun, nothing else."
"Okay, then."  The waiter smiles & slaps his pad shut & moves away.

"You know, son, you really ought to try to expand your food horizons just a bit.  I mean, you're getting to be a big boy these days, you could try to eat like normal people, without all these special instructions."
"Mmmm."
"In fact, you like fish.  I'll let you try a piece of my Beer-Battered Snapper.  I bet you'll like that."
"Beer-Battered?"  my son flashes me a horrified look.  He leans over to me, looks around conspiratorially & then whispers, "You mean that's how they kill them?"
I whisper back, "What?  Who kills who?"
"The snapper.  They kill it with a beer bottle? - just bludgeon it over the head, or what?  Do they take out the pieces of glass before they bring it to you or do you have to pick them out?"
I am confused.  "What are you talking about?"
"The fish!"  my son exclaims, "You said it was 'beer battered'?"
I pause for a moment, then remember who I'm dealing with, "NO!  They do not batter the fish with the beer bottle to kill it, the batter is the coating they put on it before they cook it!  Jeez..."