Not a Four-Letter Word

Let's talk about the word "blame":

From The American College Dictionary, Random House, copyright 1947, etc. -
blame (blām), v.,  to lay the responsibility of (a fault, error, etc.) on a person.

From The English Dictionary that Exists Solely Inside my Husbands Head , est. 1995 -
blame (blām), v.,  when my wife unjustly accuses me of doing something that makes her life more difficult (which I can't even see what the problem is since it appears to me that her life is way too easy anyway, as I inform her over & over again), at which point she overreacts & exaggerates those types of situations in her feeble attempt to justify herself.

From The Housewife's Dictionary of the Many Examples of a Husband's Blameworthy Behavior, an ever-expanding tome by Yours Truly -
blame (blām), v.,  to lay the responsibility of (a fault, error, etc.) on the husband, where it belongs. 

Examples follow:
 
1.  If said husband sees a drying rack full of clothes that are almost dry & then decides that it would be a good idea to place his dripping-wet swim suit on top of these clothes, it is likely that his wife will blame him for getting the clothes wet all over again.*

--The conversation:  "Ugh!  Husband, why did you put your dripping-wet swim suit on top of these almost-dry clothes?  Now they will have to start to dry all over again!" 
"I didn't know they were almost dry."
"Didn't you think you could find that out by feeling them?"
"That's right, blame me!"
"I do!"


2.  If said husband sees a drying rack full of clothes that are almost dry & then decides that it would be a good idea to place the mostly-dry-but-covered-entirely-with-sand beach towels on top of these clothes, it is likely that his wife will blame him again.*

--The conversation:  "Ugh! Husband, why did you put those towels that are covered with sand on top of the almost-dry clothes on the drying rack?"
"Well, the towels were damp & the clothes were damp too!"
"Yes, & now the clothes underneath the towels are still damp, with the added bonus of being covered with sand!"
"Of course that's MY fault - go ahead & blame me!"
"I will."
"No matter what I do, everything's MY fault - see there," to our sons, "I can't win; I am always to blame!"
"Now, husband, that is the smartest thing you've said all day!"


*Note how in these two examples, the definition of the word "blame" can be found to align most closely with The American College Dictionary's definition; in effect negating the value of The English Dictionary that Exists Solely Inside my Husbands Head as a dependable reference material, while at the same time reinforcing the underlying truth of the definition as improved upon in The Housewife's Dictionary of the Many Examples of a Husband's Blameworthy Behavior.

So there.