"'Party Rentals'? I didn't know you could rent a whole party!"
Hmmm...good idea...
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Whole Party Rentals
-for all your party needs!
You know the feeling - you want to have a party but there is so much to worry about:
- Will your guests enjoy themselves?
- Will you have enough food & drinks?
- Will anyone even come?
Here at Whole Party Rentals, we say,
"Leave the worrying to us!"
We have several party packages to choose from:
- Sports Party - Does your husband look lonely sitting on the couch watching football? Why not make it a PARTY?! The Sports Party Package* includes the following:
- Six big beefy sports guys (wearing the team jersey of your choice) will be sent to your address for the big game! They will be guaranteed to scream & yell along with your husband in support of his team!
- When our sports guys are not screaming & yelling, they will be sprawled all over your sofa, eating chips & dip & mashing the crumbs into your cushions! They will be drinking & spilling beer, crushing the empties on their foreheads (aluminium cans recommended), peeing all over your bathroom & belching with abandon!
- * It is recommended to purchase along with the Sports Party Package the additional Coverage of "Damage to Furniture & Electronics" (not included). See our Rates Sheet for details.
- Office Cocktail Party - Are you currently working out of your home but missing that office camaraderie? In our Office Cocktail Party package, we will include 12 to 15 accountants (or other white-collar profession of your choice):
- The office people will arrive at your location of choice straight from work & proceed to get tipsy & out of hand. They will talk about their jobs & bosses while waving around their half-finished martini's. They may resort to karaoke, in which case we will ensure that none of the singers sing better than YOU!
- As a special bonus, we will include one Sleazie Secretary & one Life of the Party in your package:
- Sleazie Secretary will be wearing a colored bra underneath her see-through white blouse & she will flirt with you all evening (male secretaries available upon request).
- Life of the Party will come equipped with jokes, amusing trivia & office gossip. He or she may go so far as to start a line dance, so space is a consideration.
- Child's Birthday Party - Don't have children & want to see what you are missing? Our Child's Birthday Party is the package for you!
- Twelve grubby, sticky & bratty children will be sent to your door!
- Among these children will be included a mixture of the following:
- Spoiled Brat
- Whiner
- Runny Nose
- Screamer
- Crier
- & everybodies favorite - Vomiter!
- They will run through your house, trailing their chocolate-frostinged hands over your furnishings & walls.
- At least one child will break something valuable.
- If you have a pet, it will be tormented mercilessly.
- We guarantee that we will pick them all up later than stated in our contract, just to allow you the 'true' experience of parents that refuse to claim their children on time.
These are just a few of our packages. Read on for Testimonials from Real Customers:
"The Child's Birthday Party was quite an experience! When my wife started talking about having a baby I called Whole Party Rentals! Now my wife has decided we should wait a few years! Thank you, Whole Party Rentals!!"
Ron; Concord, CA
Ron; Concord, CA
"After moving to a rural office, I sure was missing the office parties we used to have at my old company. Then I heard about Whole Party Rentals & rented the Office Cocktail Party package. Our venue was an upscale bar, soon my Life of the Party had the place in a Conga Line & Sleazie Secretary was dancing on the table swinging his tie like a lasso! It was a blast!"
JeriLyn; Littletown, OH
"My husband used to be so calm & sedate while watching the game on TV. Sometimes he would even fall asleep! I called up Whole Party Rentals & had them send me the Sports Package - after that Saturdays at our house have never been the same! My husband is much more lively! Take our advice & get the additional Coverage - you won't be sorry!"
Bev & Derek; Alamogordo, NM
Whole Party Rentals
-for all your party needs!
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