What They Learned

When people come to visit us here in Jamaica from the US, these are some of the things they will learn:

1. Drive on the left.
2. Run the red lights if they are mostly orange.
3. Only qualified gas-pumping professionals are allowed to put gas in your car.
4. There are lots of pot-holes in the roads.
5. Putting the rental car in several pot-holes is not a good idea.
6. American Express' Worldwide rental car insurance excludes only six countries in the world; Jamaica is one of them.
7. The air conditioner in your room does not turn off by itself, so don't bother thinking that setting a certain temperature will do any thing special.  Stick with 'on' & 'off' & just ignore all those other buttons.
8. Sooner or later someone WILL offer to sell you ganja.
9. "Jellies" are young green coconuts that the Rasta Man chops the top off with his machete so you can drink the coconut water out thru a straw.  Jellies can be 'soft' or 'hard', as well as 'cold'.  They are tasty & healthy!  According to the locals, they 'wash your heart'.
10. "Red Stripe" is the local beer, of which you may be required to sample several bottles.
11. Lots of Jellies & Red Stripes cooling in the fridge mean not much room for anything else.
12. There is no place like Scotchies for Jerk Chicken.
13. When you buy fish from the local fishermans market, you will pay extra to have it cleaned.  The going rate will be whatever money you have on you.  While you are haggling the price of cleaning, your car may be washed by a man who will also expect to be paid, because after all, he has a family to feed - so don't give all your money to the fish cleaner.
14. Eating too much tamarind will burn your tongue.
15. Eating too many mangoes is impossible.
16. Groceries ARE expensive!
17. No one knows how they make the milk 'shelf stable'.
18. The waterfalls are beautiful, the jungle is beautiful & the beaches are beautiful!
19. Salt water stings your eyes.
20. You will have a great time visiting, you will get a tan or a sunburn but you will be happy to be going home when your trip is over...

& your hosts will miss you when you're gone, but will be too busy doing laundry to realize it at first...;)