Well, next after me, of course.
Toothbrush designers!
I mean really, you have to hand it to toothbrush designers - they have their work cut out for them. I'm talking about the old-fashioned do-it-yourself kind - good old manual toothbrushes. It's not like these people are designing cars, or ipods, where customers are going to line up to get the newest one. Yet still, year after year, those guys just don't give up! For example, Oral-B has specialized toothbrushes, & depending on the one you buy, it will give you:- A Gentle Clean
- A 3D White Advanced Vivid Clean (comes with 3D glasses!)
- An Advanced Complete Whole Mouth Clean (the name is so long they had to spend extra money on a larger package)
- A Complete Deep Clean
- A Contour Clean
- A Scope-scented Clean
- A Cavity Defense Clean
That's seven different toothbrushes (& that's only a few of their offerings)! I can see it now - I would have to have something like one of those shoe-hanger pouches for them all. & every day I could ponder, "Hmm, should I have a gentle clean this morning, or deal out some cavity defense, or perhaps just a contour clean?"
What the heck is a 'Contour Clean', anyway?. Or what about the 'Advanced Complete Whole Mouth Clean'? Does that mean their other toothbrushes are only cleaning, say, half your mouth?
Oral-B, I read, is currently the leader in the war for our toothbrush dollars. Their website is not particularly thrilling, tho. & while they are going all out with new designs, who's the boring guy naming them? I mean, doesn't this guy watch any video games? (Okay, he was getting a little frisky with '3D White Advanced'.) If I were to make some additions to spice up their toothbrush line & maybe attract the younger generation, I might add:
- Cavity Annihilator!
- Gingivitis Grenade!
- Plaque Plasma-Launcher!
- Dentist-Away Destructor!
Now the brand Reach, on the other hand...
Reach wants to be my
oral care partner!
Really! It says so right on their website, which, by the way is sleek & modern-looking. While you may think that I have been a little over-enthusiastic in my toothbrush naming above, Reach seems ready to embrace it. They toot their horn admirably. Their site says '...there's a reason Reach products look...different from the others...'. Well, don't get too excited Reach, they still do look like toothbrushes, after all!oral care partner!
I give Reach a better grade on their toothbrush names as well:
- Total Care Multi-Action
- Total Care + Massage (this one comes with potpourri & a New Age music CD)
- Total Care + Whitening
- Total Care Floss Clean (those must be some really long bristles!)
- Crystal Clean
- Advanced Design
- by Design (my personal favorite, somehow subtly upscale)
Seven for them as well! I better get the extra-large shoe pouch.
My favorite name of all, tho, is from Colgate. It is the Colgate Navigator! I imagine I just need to lie the brush & paste in my mouth & these little men that live in the handle are poised over a compass while the Captain shouts orders to his First Officer, "Okay, take the bristles due north - let's get this party started!"
I may be poking some fun at these toothbrush designers, but I really do mean it when I say I admire their perseverance. (How exciting can it be to head off to work each morning, "Goodbye honey, I'm off to the office to try to make a several hundred year old invention look new again...").
What caused me to think about toothbrushes today was the latest advertisement for a brush from Oral-B: Pro-Health Clinical Pro-Flex Toothbrush. Hey! Kudos for getting not one but two hyphens in the name! I imagine this one must have a larger package as well...
This brush has a split in the middle of it so that the two rows of bristles can move to '...adjust to the unique contours of your teeth...'. Wow!
Do you see what I mean? These toothbrush designers never quit. I think we should put them in charge of everything!
Except for the naming of things. I think I'll submit my application for that job.
No comments:
Post a Comment